I believe every parent faces difficulty in
bringing up their children to adults. To bring them up in godly ways is indeed
difficult but it is not impossible because God has given us the right methods
in the Bible. I grow up in a society where a parent who did not spank or
discipline his children is seen as a selfish parent. Today, modern philosophy
gave the impression that those who spank their children are very unloving and
senseless parents. Now, parents are confused.
I realized, it is because parents do not
examine the Scriptural teaching. They either followed the traditions of the past
(by which they were brought up by their own parents) or by the trends of the
present time (which is just a surrender to pressure without conviction, an abdication
of responsibility). However, Parents must have experienced already that neither
“all-permissive” nor “all-authoritative” parenting works. There must be some
form of discipline and corporal punishment. Ephesians 6: 4 says clearly: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in
the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” The Bible teaches
that physical discipline is appropriate, beneficial, and necessary. Here are
some of the Principles for Discipline and Corporal Punishment:
1.
Chastening and
love go hand in hand in Scripture. God, the ultimate Parent, chastens
those He loves when one goes astray. We should also do the same with our own
children. Hebrews 12:6 “For the Lord
disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”
2.
Spanking must be
painful and timely (Hebrews 12:6). We don't pretend
that certain aspects of discipline don't hurt. The word 'chastise' is
very strong and indicates that at times, chastisement needs to be very painful
to accomplish its goals. It has the idea of flogging.
3.
When spanking, we must avoid these
two things: 1) spanking out of frustration or anger, and 2)
the tendency to spank for every type of offense. God has not said that
you must spank for every type of offense, nor has He specified which offenses
require spanking. That’s what Proverbs 13:24 implies. “Whoever
spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline
him.”
4.
Discipline must
be consistent. Parents must spank it on the basis of
clearly defined rules, not on the feelings at that particular moment. Like police
officers, we can choose to enforce God’s Moral Law on them. Proverbs 19:18 “Discipline
your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.”
5.
A clear
explanation for spanking must be made known to Children or the reason
for the punishment, and your expectations for their future behavior. The
discomfort of swift consequences helps a young child associate the offense and
the painful result. Rom 6:23 “For the wages
of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our
Lord.” Prov. 13:15 “Good sense
wins favor, but the way of the treacherous is their ruin.”
6.
Focus on positive
behavior rather than directing negative attitudes toward children. The end
goal is to produce children that love and respect God and others. The doctrine
of depravity tells us that they do not need help developing more self-esteem!
They need encouragement to grow in humility and servanthood. Since as sinners,
we’re all rebellious at heart, kids need to learn submission to proper
authority as a part of godliness. Ephesians 4:24 “and to put on
the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and
holiness.”
7.
Disciplining
should never lead to actual physical damage. It should not cause lasting pain or
permanent scar. The rod is just one part of the correction process. We can use
other tactics like a restriction of liberties, rebuking, distraction, and other
things to work in conjunction with using the rod. Proverbs 23:13 “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you
strike him with a rod, he will not die.”
8.
Start
disciplining early on. Settling the authority issue with the
small child can prevent many problems later. Corporal Punishment helps develop
respect for authorities and self-control so that the child can reach their full
potential as a human being. Without this discipline, the child will become a
victim of his own evil tendencies. Ecclesiastes 8:11 “Because the sentence against an evil deed is
not executed quickly, therefore the hearts of the sons of men are given fully
to evil.”
9.
It should not be
excessive. It should be balanced with instruction. Spanking should never be
the objective of Christian parenting; it is one of many tools with which to
achieve biblical principles in bringing up the child. Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do
not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and
instruction of the Lord.”
10. Spanking or Corporal Punishment should not be avoided. If a parent
hesitates to discipline his child, he also has a problem with God. Because God
chastises whom he loves. This displays His interest in our well-being. The parent
shows love in doing so. Proverbs 23:13-14 “Do not
withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not
die. If you strike him
with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol.” Hebrews 12:11 says, “All
discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those
who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of
righteousness.” Also, Deuteronomy 8:5-6 says, “Know then in
your heart that, as a man disciplines his son, the LORD your God disciplines
you. So you shall keep the
commandments of the LORD your God by walking in his ways and by fearing him.”
In Conclusion: Parents need to learn from God, our Father, how to discipline. If children
are precious, then parents need to consistently follow these principles.
Parents should also continually build close relationships with children.
Parents need to remove all the things that become barriers between parents and
children in order to imitate our heavenly Father who exercises both His authority
and love.