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Thursday, May 07, 2020

Principles from Proverbs on Raising Teenagers



Most people believe Teenage is the period of life when one behaves rebelliously to parents and any authorities over him. However, Proverbs 22:6 says, Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Moreover, history has revealed that there were some teenagers who were smarter and wiser than many adults. Such as John Quincy Adams who in 1781 held an ambassadorial post in Russia, Laura Ingalls Wilder in 1882 taught in public school, David Farragut in 1813 commanded a captured British vessel[1]. Biblically, we have Joseph, Joshua, Jesus and many more. Parents can learn various principles to bring up teenagers from the book of Proverbs. Here are some of the Principles:

1.      We must teach them the fear of the Lord
Proverbs 1:7The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Proverbs 9:10 “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.
Proverbs 14:27 The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death.
Proverbs 15:16 “Better is a little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble with it.
Proverbs 23:17 Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the LORD all the day.

2.      We must warn them of a bad decision
Proverbs 22:8 Whoever sows injustice will reap calamity, and the rod of his fury will fail.

3.      We must persuade them with hope
Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
Proverbs 2:1, 5 My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you . . . then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.

4.      We must warn them of unhealthy emotions
Proverbs 19:19 A man of great wrath will pay the penalty, for if you deliver him, you will only have to do it again.
Proverbs 20:3 It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.
Proverbs 25:28 A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.

5.      We must equip them with life skills
Proverbs 9:12 If you are wise, you are wise for yourself; if you scoff, you alone will bear it.
Proverbs 22:24-25 “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.

6.      We must teach them to respect and submit to authorities
Proverbs 30:17 The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures.
Proverbs 15:5 A fool despises his father's instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent.
Proverbs 19:26 “He who does violence to his father and chases away his mother is a son who brings shame and reproach.

7.      We must be committed to building a relationship with them
Prov. 18:13If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.
Proverbs 23:26 My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways.

8.      We must show them our examples.
Proverbs 4:1-4 “Hear, O sons, a father's instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my teaching. When I was a son with my father, tender, the only one in the sight of my mother, he taught me and said to me, “Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments, and live.

9.      We must be praying earnestly
Proverbs 15:29 The LORD is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous.
Proverbs 8:17 I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.

10.  We must warn them of bad character
Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, but those who act faithfully are his delight.
Proverbs 25:14 Like clouds and wind without rain is a man who boasts of a gift he does not give.

11. We must teach them not to fear man.
Proverbs 29:25 The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe.

12. We must teach them to accept criticism
Proverbs 12:25 Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.
Proverbs 15:32 Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence.

13. We must teach them to seek God especially in difficulties
Proverbs 18:10 – “The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous runs into it and is safe.”


14. We must teach them to obey God rather than personal desires
Proverbs 3:5-8 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. ​Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.
Proverbs 21:3 – “To do righteousness and justice is desired by the LORD more than sacrifice.”

15. We must teach them to guard their heart
Proverbs 4:23 – “Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.”
Proverbs 28:26 Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.

16. We must teach them to hate sin
Proverbs 1:10 My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent.
Prov. 13:13-15 Whoever despises the word brings destruction on himself, but he who reveres the commandment will be rewarded. The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death. ​Good sense wins favor, but the way of the treacherous is their ruin.
Proverbs 5:3, 8 the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, . . . Keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house,
Proverbs 4:14 “Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of the evil.

17. We must recognize that they are to be taught. Children learn incrementally. They must learn with the exercise of self-control.
Prov. 18:15 An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.
Prov. 1:2-4 To know wisdom and instruction, to understand words of insight, to receive instruction in wise dealing, in righteousness, justice, and equity; to give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth—

18. We must teach them of Relationships
Proverbs 22:24-25 “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.
Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

In Conclusion: There are scores of other topics to be taught to teenagers from the book of Proverbs alone, but these are the most common and relevant ones I have been thinking about. No matter how much one can and may gather Scriptural teaching from the Proverbs on raising up teenagers if one does not live a life of discipline and godliness and prayer and love for God, family, and children, raising up teenagers in a godly way will not be possible. The world is polluted enough with sin. The depravity of a sinner (both child and young teenager) should be driven away by either a rod of discipline or punishment. Like God chastens whom he loves, the parents must do so.



[1] Reb Bradley, Parenting Teens with the Wisdom of Solomon